I have ran away from this electronic diary of mine and thought I would never write a story in it again but then I changed my mind and decide to put up an entry tonight.

As much as my blog is not a socio-political media cast nor a piece of brainwashing equipment, it is a personal tool for revealing frustration and frustrating thoughts and questions that help myself feel more complete in life.

(And so Daryl, your wish has finally been granted)
School started yet again today, on the 26th of July(after a 2 week break). Shiok right? THAT PROLLY MEANS routine begins, social engineering begins, and like daryl says.."Life" begins! We are back to the status quo, the way as our society sees. We go to school sometimes and we don't know why, some of us study topics that we'd probably never find useful in life, some of us end up doing courses that we never did like, or having a want to get jobs we'd never appreciate in first place - The world as it is, confusing! I always tell others that they should go study, do something they like in life and follow their heart. I wonder if I actually contradict myself with the very fact that i'm doing Business IT? What happened to the boy who cried when he couldn't make it to mass communications, the boy who loved media, who wanted to be a photojournalist, who wanted to be the guy who runs around capturing crashing stories of major incidents happening around the world, covering socio-political disasters and raising awareness which is everything. What happened to all that word of mouth? Nothing but fiction and a dream never been chased? So I ended up securing myself in getting a place in polytechnic first by doing BIT, heh. Sometimes, people really end up in places they've never expected themselves to do in life. Upon further reflection, and studying business modules - i found it interesting by which how i could make a bad thing become more of a good thing. Like trying to find out how i could make money which is said to be the root of all evil into something good by giving it away in charity and aid to kids in war-torn, povery-stricken nations. Won't that be nice? Or is it just an excuse for me to persue something else? Hahaha, growing up in punkrock music gives me a semi-communist knock when i think about issues in life. Like how the $ sign drives the world around, i always wanted to find out. Is it right? Or is it necessarily wrong? I would say it's picking up what good you can learn and close your ears to what's the opposite. Conforming in consideration!

Most people must go like "Just shut up, and follow the status quo!" The thing is i don't see any fault in asking questions, do you? We should never do something because someone else tells us to, everything happens for a reason. And every action has a reaction, you know it. Humans are binded by emotions and humanity which not only means freedom to live but to ask, to listen, and to think.

Let me update the world on how life is precious and sacred and fragile and should be kept in respect in that sense. In the past month, one of my primary school best bud's mum passed away, jonathan's(hilltop) grandfather passed away, kenneth thex' grandpa went to heaven as well, spencer's cousin has a tumour in the brain and which will cause her to lose all her memory, and so on. Yet at times, we take people for granted, relationships and friendships for a joke? It surprises me how things can radically twist at the most unexpecting of moments and I really think we all deserve to appreciate life and loved ones on earth cause it's really short, y'know?

In the past month, I've also changed i believed. I gave up on pride, i gave up on pessimism, i gave up on cynicism, i chose to love, i chose to embrace hope, take courage, faith, pick up my cross in enthusiasm, and chose to see the Holy Spirit in myself and each and everyone out there around me. As much as I feel like smashing my classmates and certain people at times, they've been created in that same likeness and image of Christ and no one is unworthy of that due respect and love. Forgiveness is so hard yet nobody said it was easy - Jesus didn't smile when he was crucified, yet he took everything in grace. I am actually starting to spend QT(Quiet Time) with God, starting to read scripture(if i have time).. yes you're right this is in someway post-YEScamp influence. It's really on who we choosed to be influenced by right? The ways of the world of the ways of Jesus? Materialism and Pleasure vs Morality and Divinity?

Rese asked Chrissypoo and I about our thoughts if God knew how everything would turn out (whether the outcome was good or bad) and if he did chose not to intervene even if something bad happened - like if we were to get banged by a car, etc? Cause i said i believed everything happens for a reason. I think it is in God's complexity that we humans are far too incapable to comprehend the ways by which He works - and like being banged by a car = death which might be a bad thing to us but might not be to the Lord? Because life on earth is temporary afterall, we were all meant for afterlife in Heaven. We're just too attached with this earth, i mean c'mon we're gonna spend another odd 60-70 years on it so we have to be right? The most before we die then we start changing right? Haaa! just 2 cents.

And I asked Bel why does she choose to smoke, and why did she choose to support the corporations that make millions and billions of profits from taking life away from people - I don't see the rationality here, then I am not being ignorant and stereotyping again because I am, truly indeed, curious. Her reply to me was that "we all die sooner or later anyway, i don't want to live so long either and it's a social thing." Me being ignorant and pro-life, continued arguing her freewill and choice and keep on trying to persuade her to quit so that she could live longer, stay healthier and sexier and use that amount of money to do so many other better positive things in life like buying cough syrup for kids in Uganda so life can be promoted instead of death? I told bel that i SWEAR I'D QUIT BETTING if she'd QUIT SMOKING. What's losing 400 compared to losing a friendship- of a friend dying away with chemicals and suffering? YOU CAN DUMP ALL MY MONEY AWAY.

This is a really long entry, and as much as I'm going to be BUSY at school with TESTS AND PROJECT DEADLINES TO MEET, i think taking such time off is worthwhile! And it's definitely healthy for me, heh. And yes, it's back to the WORLD CUP FEVER guys, YOU KNOW I'M FOR SPAIN!! THEYRE TOOOO HOT! TORRES WILL SET THE PITCH ON FIRE!


I hope you had a good read, drop me a message if you agree or terribly disagree with what I had to say. :D


Praying everyday that the Lord has kept you safe and well,
A little trust is all we need.